Oberlin College, November 24, 1978
Many of us deal with hard choices by refusing to choose: we decide that "both" are necessary and we divide our time, our resources, our energies, our love and commitment. And such decisions are, of course, necessary. We cannot usually choose between our families, our lovers and friends, and our work. We cannot make those choices because they are, in fact, unreal: our lives and our work are one. It is not that there are no tensions, no "obligations," no problems. But they are felt as such, and what one usually needs is a support group to help dispatch the discomfort, or to help in practical ways with flexible working hours or child care.