My ethical stance demands that my research mutually benefit all research
participants and that it should serve to reverse systemic policies of anti-blackness that
permeate the educational system in the United States. Through publications and similar
academic activities, however, my research advances my own career, but it is doubtful
that it significantly advances the trajectories of the students with whom I work. Indeed, it
could be argued that this imbalance in benefits advances the very system of white
dominance that I claim to contest. In this arts-based, auto-ethnographic study, I
document how, through the creation of pastel drawings and digital collage making, I
seek to make sense of my compromised role as a white researcher in communities of
color. I focus on my recent research with an 18-year-old African-American woman who was diagnosed with ADHD in the 5th grade.
Fellner, Gene, "The demon of hope: Race, disability and the white researcher’s complicity with injustice" (2019). CUNY Academic Works.